I have encountered a lot of stumbling blocks in the last few years and, on occasion, have caved in but then pulled myself together and moved forward with positivity and determination.
So I want you to focus, focus, you can do it. I faced untold despair as I hit my fifties, lost sight of love, my business, my home, struggled to find my footing. I felt like I was going insane. I felt like I was in a tumble dry cycle; hurled around, hitting against the drum’s sides, erratically lacerated, mangled, being knocked and jolted about some more, not knowing how bloody long the cycle would continue for or where the next blow would come from. I was not in control of the cycle, and it was bashing my life apart. I felt no hope or energy to keep going. I still had a little bit of cognitive thinking to understand I had to take control of my life. I dug into every resource within me and around to break away from the pain and suffering. I received a lot of help from a wonderful, encouraging, insightful psychiatrist. She tapped into my creativity and was critical in my ability to tap into my inherent optimistic nature and keep going. And it was my writing which brought me back to life, from which I felt hope again, from which I found a purpose. It was my way of vindicating the pain; it was my rehabilitation.
Now I can see the experience has freed me in a way I never thought imaginable.
I cannot urge you enough if you feel that your life, as you know, is slipping away and are in despair. Don’t let go; I promise you there is a new, exciting, energizing life waiting for you. All you have to do is go find it, reinvent yourself, bury the fear and go for it. I am not saying it’s easy; what I am saying it is possible. For me having a wonderful and caring psychiatrist was vital to my recovery. I did lean on a couple of beautiful friends, and my daughter, but there is only so much they could take or understand. The last link and probably one of the most important were my dogs, and still are; when I have bad days, it’s my two babes Olliepop and Bettyboop, that elevate my mood.
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