Some years ago, as I hit my 50s, my life took a turn in a direction that I had never anticipated—everything as I knew it changed. I was facing a very uncertain future. I was forced to battle several fights and forced to face my fear of the unknown. I had no idea where I was going or how I was going to continue. And I have to tell you nearly ten years on, I have evolved and reinvented a fulfilling life in the knowledge that fear is only a feeling; it’s how you address that feeling that counts. Of course, it was a struggle to challenge my despair, but I was cognitive enough to understand that I did not want to allow my circumstances to trap me into a life that I didn’t like. While change may seem terrifying, the real tragedy would have been living a life that didn’t make me happy and satisfied.
To become the author of your life starts by reframing your relationship with uncertainty; it starts with overcoming the fear of change. If you struggle with fear of change, don’t allow it to trap you into a life that you don’t want. While change may seem terrifying, the real tragedy is living a life that doesn’t bring you any joy.
Several years ago, I saw this article in Psychology Today. I thought the author laid the steps to address our concerns as chapters in a book were so effective. So I am going to share it with you.
- A chapter is not the book.
To start a new chapter in your life, you have to finish one first. Sometimes we resist the end of a particular phase in our lives—we confuse the chapter with the book. You can write endless stories in your life. Leave room for new chapters—move on from past stories.
Life is like a book—you have to turn the page to start a new chapter.
- Your storyline is full of choices.
When you approach life as a writer, you start seeing possibilities. You learn to put expectations aside and focus on what you can control. Become the creator of your plot, not just a spectator.
Your life is not the product of your circumstances; it’s the product of your choices.
- Embrace being imperfect.
The first paragraph is the most difficult. It takes courage to cross the line of uncertainty. Hemingway said, “The first draft of anything is sh*t.” The Nobel Prize winner kept track of his daily progress on a wall. Hemingway wasn’t just talented—he was committed to writing every day.
Every story can be perfected. But first, you must write the first draft.
- You can’t control others.
Great movie characters—just like real people—have a life of their own. A screenwriter can define their names, lines, and personalities. However, once actors start playing their characters, they will take a life of their own. They follow their instincts, not the script.
If you want people to give you their best, set them free.
- Be ready for unexpected twists.
Even the best authors suffer from writer’s block. They know they must try something different. The same applies to you. Experiment. Change your routine. Go for a walk if you feel stuck. Do something outside your comfort zone.
If you want a different outcome, add a plot twist.
- Failure is a stop, not a destination.
Not every chapter or episode will be successful. And that’s okay—you can always write a new one. The beauty of life is that you can course correct. Richard Branson said, “In business if you realize you’ve made a bad decision, you change it.” Don’t feel frustrated about what didn’t go your way. Use that energy to write the next chapter.
Decisions are impermanent, just like life.
- Let go of your manuscript.
We fear the unexpected. However, most surprises in life become great memories. You can’t control your life. Write your script one scene at a time; don’t anticipate the whole plot. Bring your ideas to the real world and see what happens.
Don’t resist the unexpected—use it as feedback to live an extraordinary life.
Don’t close the door to new chapters. When we want to protect ourselves from uncertainty, we lose awareness of the present moment. And we stop enjoying what life gives us.
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Link to the original article : How to overcome the fear of change.